Notes Inspired.

I give up. I know i land up here more when i'm on the brink of an emotional breakdown more then when i have something good and nice to share... but thats sorta how it is. 


i feel like i am trying so desperately to have things go right and they do just the opposite. every time i manage to convince myself that i can do something and that there is a way out of everything if my will is strong enough... my will gets blasted into a million pieces. 


to make matters worse i feel like there is a clown at  every corner of my mind laughing at me. i want to stop trying and just be. i feel like i might as well stop writing on my list of goals and aspirations and just start erasing.  no energy left to fight anything anymore. nothing left whatsoever: i'm on the ground and i don't want to move.