luxury

my summer is nearly gone and i have nothing to show for it.

thankful i am for the blessing that is my work and the loving people there... but i still feel like something is missing.

i waited an eternity it seemed for summer to arrive, for it to wrap me in sunlight and to take me on adventures and for it to teach me to let loose and aspire to that feeling of excitement that i had imagined. 

i feel overworked, tired and empty. anything and everything i had hoped to do was put aside and i have completely forgotten that it's quite alright to live for oneself once in a while... despite what others scold me to believe. 

i don't like this routine of merely waking at dawn to lug my half asleep self to make a supposed living, and then to lug myself back half drunk on the ache of my body to then find something to eat (preferably before 7 pm... trying to slim down... i'm despising my own reflection and feel like shit... pardon the language, can't help it) to eventually end up sleeping till it starts all over again. reality is not always kind and hardly gives a peanut about what we have to say.

mehhhhhhh is just about right.

i am demanding, i know, but am i wrong to be?... most probably.

uninspired: my second most greatest fear.

the first?

time.