Notes Inspired.

Frustrated.
Lost.
Helpless.
Running dangerously low on optimism.


Why does it seem that every effort, every initiative, every instance of hope ends up being another futile subordination to a string of miserably depressing acts? 


I'm not only referring to my grades which are puke worthy, but most things in general...


*disclaimer* : this is going to get real (as opposed to simply) boring, bare with me.


So, yesterday was a special day. Yesterday marked the first concrete implementation of what has been until now only a mostly theoretical political device to advance human rights - courtesy of the Tamil Diaspora. The Transnational Government of Tamil Eelam.


I remember reading up on the concept for a course I had taken and thinking, we as Tamils need this. Staying within the paradigm of globalization (another equally relevant yet atrociously long and annoying topic of conversation... let's not.) the notion of global citizens and the responsibility of every individual to look out for the respect of human rights and the the dignified conservation of humanity is one that is gaining momentum. The idea that what happens to an individual or a collective can easily bring about repercussions to us despite our distance hadn't been more real.


Introducing a government that represents a nation on an international level outside it's rightful country itself is a mammoth task, as the responsibilities and difficulties related to the execution are exponential. Communication, despite our technological age, is not as easy and smooth. Over coming all of this, to be a strong representation and legal body that can rightfully question the atrocious acts happening worldwide and more particularly with respects to the state in question is a, on paper, a beautiful idea for human rights proponents.


When corruption, greed and popularity have a part in it all... things are disastrous to say the least.


I am  not satisfied with yesterday's votes. 
Too many unlawful things happening in the name of democracy. Too many.


People were not in it to defend or promote OUR aspirations, that we had so honourably struggled for over the past 60 years, but rather to promote their own.
Within a day's worth of hours, they brought shame to the freedom struggle. 


Things like this happen and I lose all the hope I manage to scramble together from whatever is left over from the previous incident. It's not fair to those living through the consequences of our decisions, back home. The power and responsibility has been plopped into our hands and all we ever manage to do is juggle. I'm always on the edge of my seat praying a million prayers... that WE wake up. That the seriousness of it all hits us smack in the face. That we understand the need for us to stand in solidarity. The need for us to let go of our selfish desires so we can have a place to call home.

"Who are you?"

"A Tamil."

"Where are you from?"

"Tamil Eelam."

"Where is that?"

- I show them the vague borders of Eelam.

"But that's not a real country?...I mean... It's not even really on the map."

"Not yet."

"Right then... Why don't you say Sri Lanka?"

"That would be incorrect."

"So you have no country?"